Dementia is an illness and is not the fault of the person, although under stress, it is fairly hard to accept this. Each day one must expect the unexpected, and planning ahead is vital. Some family members do not want to know how we manage day by day. Only one communicates with us. We have moved on from the bitterness and anger we have felt, and now we feel only sadness for those who cannot understand. They have not walked in our shoes.
Sometimes we get upset when people express pity or sympathy. We feel it is rather hollow and consider the expressions to be patronising.
We've had to deal with ‘busybodies' regarding my wife's “odd behaviour and comments”. We've had to deal with hurt and embarrassment at supermarket checkouts when my wife first began to lose her ability to recognise and handle cash. We've been shunned by some relatives and friends, and have withdrawn from some of the groups to which we have belonged for years. We are no longer useful. - Darrell Bailey, Aurora (click below for full article)
http://www.mn.catholic.org.au/newsroom/auroraissues/aurora80_story3.htm